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Things You Can't Make Up

Elementary Techie
Jun 28, 2015
4 min read

We have all been there. When your student says or does something that just makes you take a step back and/or laugh hysterically. These little moments can brighten your day and also disrupt your class. I love my kids and the random things they do and say. Here are a few of my favorites:

Number 1 Favorite Moment of All Time:

My Kindergarten calss was working on typing in Word. I have a list of words (like 10) for them to type. One girl goes, " we have to type the WHOLE LIST?!" I said yeah, it's not that long. she then proceeds to sing " Hard Knock Life" from Annie. I thought to myself, if this is the hardest thing you ever have to do, you have an awesome life.

Other Really Great Ones:

Two kids bumped into each other. I say to the one boy ( their 4), "Are you okay?", he rubs his head and goes, "I'm alive so I guess I'm okay...it could be worse. One time I got poked in the eye with a pencil"

Touche young sir.

Preface this, all the teachers in my school use their first name. It drives me crazy but that's how it goes.

2nd grader: "Miss Alyssa, What's your last name?

Me: " ...Why?..."

Him: " I want to google you"

The day my 4th grade students told me I've lost my "swag" . :'(

Kindergarteners (Twins) : " Miss Alyssa, if we invite you to our birthday party, will you buy me a computer?"

One of my students said that he wished he had someone in his life, like a gf.... He's Two.

Talking about drawing pictures of our houses. Kindergartener " I don't live in a house. I live in a mansion. We have an elevator."

The day we return after break and our floors had been waxed. Guess who's Janitor spent twenty minutes with a crowbar trying to get the printer(in the box THANK GOD) unattached to the floor.

So my three year old class is heading down the hallway to cooking. One boy ( after having to decipher what he was trying to say five times) had a rock in his shoe, so I offered to help him. The rest of the class starts leaving and he yells, " TRAIN! Don't leave without me!" I told him it was fine, I'd bring him there. He then understood this as I would "give him a piggy back ride." I quickly said, " Um, No, we'll walk. " He then tell me we better run and BOLTS out the door down the hall. What teachers are giving piggy back rides ?!

The days when I like to play "Screaming Child or Loose Velociraptor". Seriously, how do they make that sound?

The day when one of my fifth graders walked into the after school care class with a music player. Not and ipod but a WALKMAN ( yes they apparently still sell them). As if that wasn't a holy crap moment in itself he asked me what's a good radio station to listen to. I asked what kind of music he liked, figuring pop or hip hop. Nope, he asked for Blues stations. #MyKidsAreWeird

Dear Child Literally eatting his shirt (sleeve...cuff to shoulder) telling me it tastes good and calling it 'Shirt Juice' does not make it any less digusting.

Dear child who told me that aliens spray stuff on his brain...I totally believe you. I didn't think one person could be this odd naturally.

When a parent said "Wow, you're smarter than I orginally thought"

Children singing/chanting " Christmas Time" over and over againg.

Me: "it's too early for that. Please Stop."

Them: (pause then continue to chant) " Hanukkah Time"

Me: " I'm being serious"

Them: (pauses then chants) " Serious Time"

SMH...Sometimes you can't win.

After fixing a computer problem one of my co-workers says " How are you not married?!" I thought: Wow, that escalated quickly.

This one comes from my days as a martial arts instructor. We often would do birthday parties on weekend and they usually had children who were not students of our school. During the birthday party we give out name tags for obvious reasons. I've heard weird names before and don't really think much of it. One child told me his name was Peter. So on his name tag I wrote "Peter" and myself and the other instructors called him peter the whole party. WEll, Mom comes to get him and is confused and concerned when we tell her what a great job Peter did. She goes, " His name's not Peter," I stupidly say, " He told us his name was Peter ( face palm moment)...Parker". Yes ladies and gentlemen Spider-Man was a guest at our party and no one questioned it. It then made me wonder how many other children had given their alias and we just sat back and thought hmmm, sounds legit.

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